Agrarian Love Story: Romantic Short Story Ebook

Brand new short story ebook for all you crazy kids out there! Agrarian Love Story is a cute little story about two young teens crossing over from mere friends to something more. It takes place in a farming community twenty miles or so outside of the city.
Am I correct in the assumption that everyone on the planet can take comfort in the fact that if need be, they could beat up Richard Dreyfuss? Even small children who are plagued by bullies, if they would just stop for a ,before they hung themselves, and realized if need be, they could beat up Richard Dreyfuss, I think they would find the prerequisite strength to pull through. So, in closing, I would like to thank Richard Dreyfuss. You, sir, are an inspiration.

9-11 10th Anniversary

Love for those who lost their life on that day. Love for those who lost their life in the subsequent wars. Love to anyone whose life was changed forever on that day. In other words, love for everyone. Love for the world. That's what I have on this day, a love that outweighs everything else I feel. Love.

Forbidden Wish: Fantasy Short Story Ebook

Forbidden Wish is a cautionary tale for all fledgling genies everywhere. Especially for those who are considering taking one of these scrumptious humans as her own, back into the lamp, and actually trying to maintain some sort of relationship. Forbidden Wish is just one of several things that could go wrong.
New homemade fantasy ebook series!

New Ebook!!! Embolden: Episode 1: Prisoner In The Forest

"Once upon a time, in some made-up New England town, let’s call it Maudlin; there lived a young man named Bolden Curmudgeon. Bolden worked on the factory floor at Dunkirk’s Commercial Printing and did very little beyond this, or at least nothing of any real consequence."

That is, until now…

"Prisoner In The Forest" is the very first episode from the Embolden book series. In this episode, you will see how Bolden goes from lowly factory worker, who's only pleasure in life is his online fantasy exploits, to a full-fledged freak of nature, after a rather strange and mysterious encounter with a woman in the forest.

In future episodes, you will see, along with Bolden, what the woman has done to him and why. What will Bolden do with his newfound abilities? Will Bolden accept them? Or will he reject the opportunity, and disappear back into his lowly existence. Will his abilities bring him love? Or will they ensure that Bolden will always be without love?

Amidst all this, what will be said and done about the tantamount?
If you like this, I'll let you beat me in Donkey Kong the next time we play.
1 out 5 hooters girls agree, "My Search For Love On Craigslist" is an idiotic ebook:
"Boobs are a must. I repeat, ideal candidate must have boobs." -Xerx, from My Search For Love On Craigslist
"I think it’s sad I have to explain this, but I simply will not enter into a relationship with a robot. I am Christian. I like women with real body parts."
-from My Search For Love On Craigslist-

Funny Or Die Post: A Letter To Batman

Click here to go to funny or die to vote!

Dear Batman,

I was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime. Maybe play some Scrabble? Admittedly, while we're playing Scrabble, there won't be much cause for crime fighting or anything like that. If you get the urge to kick somebody's ass while we're playing Scrabble, my grandma has a very selective memory, especially when it comes to taking her meds, so if she does this while you're over, feel free to kick her ass. I'm at my wits end with her. Maybe the occasional ass-kicking is just what grandma needs.

If need be, I wouldn't be opposed to you bringing Cat Woman over. Although, I prefer Scrabble games to be one on one, so if you decided to bring Cat Woman over, it'd probably be best if you waited in the Bat Mobile while me and Cat Woman played together. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, and I don't know if you and Cat Woman are "together" or anything, but I find Cat Woman's incessant, sensual purrs and growls to be a bit distracting, if not arousing. So, if worse comes to worst, you may have to wait in the Bat Mobile longer than expected. Then again, I've never been the best at deciphering woman's signals, and her being so damn Cat-like doesn't make the deciphering any easier. Just to be on the safe side, maybe we should have an intervention to get her to quit coming off so damn sexy. There's a lot of stray cats where I live. We don't need anymore.

By the way, I'm highly aware that I still owe you 20 bucks from that time we went to the movies. That was fun. I just wish Robin didn't sneak in the booze and get sick all over the place. Those people work hard enough to keep the theaters clean, and they shouldn't have to clean up Robin's throw-up all the time. So, about the 20 bucks, do me a favor and tell Alfred to stop sending me nasty texts messages about paying you back. The other day, I swear to god, he texted me like 10 times in an hour. The man is a menace.  If you ask me, that man's in dire need of a hobby. As long as that hobby isn't being a fucking asshole with the texting.

Your friend,

Michael Zinetti

PS In case I don't see you before Christmas, have a nice Christmas. I hope all your Bat Wishes come true.
PPS Could you tell Cat Woman the next time you see her I got checked out and I'm clean, so it's on her, whatever it is.