MZ on His One Truish Love

When you're kind of a nympho, and lovers are few and far between, there is always the age-old substitute for sex; food, to fulfill all my needs. So, on this very special day, I want to acknowledge my not so secret love affair with a post for all the world to see. I love you. And I have loved you for some time now. I love you when you are unfurled before my waiting mouth, when you're a Johnny's Lunch Texas Hot! I love you when you have that prickly attitude, all full of spice, when you're General Tso's Chicken. I love you when you're in the mood to smother me, when you're a Sancho covered in ooey gooey MV sauce. I love you, Baby, in all your many forms. However, like they say, all good things must come to an end. And as much as I love you, something's gotta give, and I don't mean my belt buckle. We can't go on living like this. We can't keep meeting like this. It just ain't natural. We at least need to consider seeing other people, while I can still fit through the door. Otherwise this thing is gonna turn into something ungodly. Something the preacher man might call gluttony. So, Baby, if you really love me, if you ever cared a thing for me, you'll do the right thing by me, and you won't tempt me anymore. You won't prance around on the plate, barely dressed or overdressed, depending on the form you choose, daring me to eat you all up. Cuz, Baby, I would. You know I would. That's the problem. I'm weak, Baby. And I'm not just talking about out of shape weak. So let this Valentine's Day be our last night together. In the last several years, I've really let myself go, now it's time for me to let you go. So goodbye, to my one truish love.

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