Everybody's up and arms about Macaulay Culkin's sickly appearance. But what nobody seems to realize is Willem Dafoe has looked like this his entire career. In fact, if you look close enough, there may be some genetic connection. Think about it. Have you ever seen them in the same room together? Maybe when Willem Dafoe was a struggling actor trying to make ends meet, he had a milk route and maybe the Culkin's were on his route, and maybe one day Mrs. Culkin didn't have enough money to pay her bill and Dafoe being the gifted actor he was improvised, and maybe their improvisation produced a son. And maybe this son is super fucking sickly looking. And maybe someone should fucking do something before this son fucking dies! I'm talking to you, Mila! Hell, that's nothing new, half of what I say or do is directed to Mila Kunis. Hubba hubba.