I don't care what people say, people can be scary. I'm scared of all kinds of people. Here's a list of the scariest kinds of people I can think of.
31. Foreigners: This is more of a subconscious fear not grounded in reality. The irrational fear of anyone who looks or sounds different.
30. Anyone who sits right next to you: Anyone who walks into a sparsely populated room and sits right next to you. Freaky!
29. Nazis: They're mostly gone now so I think we can relax.
28. Bikers: They have tattoos and don't give a fuck.
27. Charles Manson: If you watch more than 15 minutes of one of his interviews, you won't be able to sleep, guaranteed.
26. Info-mercial Audience Members: These people are insane.
25. Librarians: They're just always there, working on something they seem to think is important. You would think they're there to help you. And you would be wrong. Just go up and ask them a question and you'll find out.
24. Rich People: There's just something not right about people who can buy and sell other people.
23. Doctors: Something scary about anyone who holds the fate of someone's life in their hands on a regular basis.
22. Anyone who just walked out of a forest: No matter what, anyone who just walked out of a forest always looks like they just got finished burying somebody.
21. Homeless People: Admit it. You're a little freaked out by homeless people.
20. Lawyers: They wear suits and know the law and know how to break it.
19. James Lipton: He just knows way too much about you. Just look at the actors on Inside The Actors Studio. They always seem so freaked out by him.
18. Robots: They'll go along with all your human bs until they decide to turn.
17. Politicians: Parasitic beings incapable of telling the truth.
16. Joel Osteen: Although Osteen avoids preaching fire and brimstone, there's just something about preachers with their tendency to dangle eternal life or damnation in front of you.
15. Clowns: They're covered in makeup and probably wanted in a couple states.
14. Old People: They're old and set in their ways, and even more so than bikers, don't give a fuck.
13. Heather Mills McCartney: Or cold and heartless gold-diggers. Mills just happens to be the best one ever.
12. Male Gynecologists: If I was a woman, I wouldn't stand for a male gynecologist.
11. Anyone holding something: Anyone just standing there holding something freaks me out. A big lollipop. A hammer. A balloon. A camera. That's scary!
10. Gang Members: Groups of anything is scary, especially if they don't give a fuck in unison.
9. Priests: Something scary about this group of people's propensity for pedofilia.
8. Women On Religious Shows: These freaky women who douse themselves in makeup and follow their preacher husbands are like Stepford Wives on crack.
7. Neo-Nazis: I'm white and they still scare the crap out of me.
6. Mafia Members: Italians can always claim to be in the mafia to get people to step off. They're lucky that way.
5. Children: They're small and unpredictable. Basically, anyone who's scary, if you can think of a little version of them, for some reason, it's more scary.
4. Mormons: Something freaky about polygamy, even if they supposedly don't do it anymore.
3. Islamist Extremist: The extreme version of anything is pretty scary, and extremist Muslims are the scariest.
2. Jehovah's Witnesses: The more I read about these people the more they scare me.
1. Scientologists: They're bat-shit crazy and extremely serious about it.