MZ on The Scourge Of Humanity, AKA Real Housewives

Sometimes I can't help but think about the good ole days. There's like a bazillion things that were better then, then they are now. My most recent remembrance is Bravo. The way it used to be. Admittedly, I'm not the most diversified person. I'm pretty much a creature of habit. And back about ten years ago, when circumstances in my life allotted more TV watching, I pretty much hovered between a handful of channels. I think one was ESPN, then maybe FOX Sports, then Comedy Central, then VH1 Classic, then Bravo.

Well, the good thing is ESPN hasn't and probably never will make drastic changes, as sports are pretty much a constant. And yet, I don't watch FOX Sports that much anymore, since Best Damn Sports Show, which pretty much was the best damn sports show, is no more. Comedy Central is still good, not as good as I remember, but still good. I don't have VH1 Classic anymore, and I miss it, cuz I love seeing all those old videos, but Youtube more than makes up for this. And then there's Bravo.

Bravo used to be good. I used to like all the independent films, Inside the Actor's Studio, and pretty much anything else on Bravo. And then, during my ten year absence, when I wasn't watching much TV, something terrible happened. And it's called Real Housewives. Real Housewives of Wherever; New York, Orange County, etc., have completely taken over Bravo. When did this happen? I never thought I could miss James Lipton, as he was always such a creepy dude, but, hey, I'm miss James Lipton! In his stead, it's nonstop Real Housewives. Who is watching this shit? Why? Reality TV is horrible for the most part, and Real Housewives has got to be the pinnacle of this awfulness. I never would have known how awful this show was if wasn't for this girl I was dating, who was addicted to the Real Housewives shows. I tried to be a good boyfriend and give her interests a chance. But in the end, it was just too much to bear. After a while, I was just sitting there, praying for death, thinking how life is too short to waste even a second watching this moronic crap.

First of all, NOTHING is happening on the Real Housewives. Second, if people would give life half a chance, they could be doing whatever these Real Housewives are doing in their own lives-which isn't much. Third, for the most part, these women are complete morons. You can tell who the smart ones are because they're the ones that leave the show after one season, ie, Cat from Real Housewives of New York, or was it DC? Fourth, most of these women aren't housewives at all. If anything Real Housewives destroys marriages and in some cases LIVES. And yet it keeps going. Andy Cohen, have you no decency? Fifth, you can actually feel your brain softening and turning to mush when you watch Real Housewives. TV is a passive enough experience. When you watch Real Housewives, your brain is doing even less work, since nothing is going on. Sixth, there's nothing real about Real Housewives. Anything in the show that moves the story along or seems to create plot is the work of the show's producers. Otherwise there would be no show. So, in conclusion, seventh, you only have so much time on this planet. Do you really want to spend hours upon hours of your time watching Real Housewives who aren't even real or housewives?

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