MZ on The Great Chicken Debate

Candidate 1: I have the most chicken.
Candidate 2: Mr. President, that's simply not true. In fact, America has less chicken now than it did four years ago.
Candidate 1: I DO have the most chicken. And if you give me your vote I will share it with all you good folks in this town (insert name).
Candidate 2: Why would the good folks of this town (insert name) give you their vote when you've had four years to share your chicken and they're still waiting for a taste of your chicken.
Candidate 1: The truth is I've shared LOTS of my chicken. What about your chicken? According to your plan, you're going to deduce chicken intake by 25%!
Candidate 2: That's simply not true.
Candidate 1: It is true.
Candidate 2: No it's not!
Candidate 1: I'm president and I say it's true.
Candidate 2: You won't be president for long!
Candidate 1: I'm beginning to think you don't like chicken.
(The good folks in this town (insert name) gasp in unison)
Candidate 2 (looks around nervously): That's simply not true. I love chicken. When I was governor of Marshmallow Land, we were the biggest producers of chicken. In fact, I made it possible for even the most poor and most idiotic people in my state to have chicken.
Candidate 1: I know. That's why we based much of our chicken production plan on yours in Marshmallow Land. But now, for some reason, you've distanced yourself from your chicken production model. Why is that? I think somebody doesn't like chicken as much as somebody says he likes chicken.
Candidate 2: That's private. I mean, that's simply not true. THIS somebody likes chicken!
Candidate 1: Allow me to reiterate, good folks of this town (insert name), if you give me your vote I will share my chicken with you. Wink wink nudge nudge.

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