Ebay's new fees will start sometime in the near future where they are gonna charge users a flat fee of 5 cents every time you go to one of their pages! On top of that Ebay will also charge people who were thinking about going to one of their pages. How in the world are they gonna enforce that? You'd be surprised. Ebay is very powerful. They're like the mafia of online auctions, and so they like to have their cyber hands in everything. There is some good news, with these new fees, merely thinking about going to Ebay will be considerably cheaper than actually going to Ebay, so think about all the money you'll save just thinking about going to Ebay instead of actually going.
With these new usage fees just around the corner, Ebay has also revealed its upcoming fee for talking about Ebay. Like this post, for instance, is going to cost me about 2 dollars when it's all said and done. Ebay's gonna be like Fight Club. The first rule of Ebay, don't talk about Ebay. Yeah, because it's gonna cost you. So, from here on out, if you're planning on talking about Ebay, remember to keep some spare change on you, so you can cover any charges that may incur.
Ebay is also planning on charging people who leave their browsers on Ebay for too long. In addition, if something happens in your house while your computer is idle, Ebay would like to have a cut of that, too. So, if you leave your computer on and say, you have sex with your wife/or whoever, and happen to conceive a child, Ebay plans to implement a fee for the conception of that child. The initial child conception fee is going to be about 5% of the total child's cost, plus the final fee, when the child is ultimately born. As you know, kids are expensive, and Ebay knows this, too. Ebay can do this. So stop fucking around!
In conclusion remember, Big Brother is watching, and because of this, Big Brother owes Ebay a considerable fee, as do you for being watched. If you have a dispute and would like to challenge these fees, Ebay will be glad to take your case into consideration before they ultimately decide in their favor. And remember, there is a 10% fee for all cases found in their favor, which is over 100% of all cases. Ebay gets what Ebay wants. Ebay is just saying.