Are you tired of all those awkward Christmas gift exchanges? Are you tired of the age-old experience of opening a gift and, well, not really wanting it at all, and yet having to act like it's the most amazing thing ever? Are you tired of all the impromptu fictional excitement you have to muster for all the world to see?
Well, you can put all of that behind you now, because I got the perfect solution! I have the perfect Christmas gift idea. You may think my idea lacks Christmas spirit, but bear with me. My heart is in the right place.
Okay, so the first step to buying the perfect gift is for you to think of something you really really want or need. And don't be stingy. Spend as much as you like, because I'm pretty sure the other person will match you. Second, wrap it and give it to your friend or loved one. And it's assumed that your friend or loved one has done the same for you. Now, here's the perfect part. Third, change the bow or rewrap the gift or add a design or flair to the wrapping. Fourth, simply hand it back to the friend or loved one who gave it to you in the first place. Fifth, open it! Sixth, there! It's exactly what you wanted! No guesswork and inevitable disappointment. Seventh, have a Coke and a smile and call it a day, or a Christmas day.
Until next year, and all this annoying crap starts over again. Ugh.